My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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