My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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