He asked me if I "almost moaned"
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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