I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
