I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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