Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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