when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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