Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
