can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
