Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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