I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
