ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
