I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
