There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
