Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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