I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
