a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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