closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
