people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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