Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
My pussy is not your playground.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I need moral support for this bender
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
