I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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