WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
