I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
