Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Brb crying the tears of my youth
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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