oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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