I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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