He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She told me I should be a condom model.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
