Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
