you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
