i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
