Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
