evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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