Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize