It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
