So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
