i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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