Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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