worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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