Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
