I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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