with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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