careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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