I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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