I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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