at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
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