I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
