so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
