That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
