im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
