just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
