Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize