apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
