is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize