But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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