omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
