apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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